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Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Words With Friends and Panda Poet conspire against Me

Today's greatest minds are all troubled by the inconsistencies  in Words With Friends. Words With Friends, for those of you with full lives, is the online scrabble game you can play on Facebook or any number of internet/ phone applications. We know that abbreviations, deragatory words, and proper nouns aren't allowed, but we are skeptical about the enforcement of the "no abbreviation" rule.  For example, the "words" "Ad," "Ed, "Ag," and similar offenders seem to be acceptable. I've tried to find plausible definitions for those words, but in the cases of "Ed" and "Ag" they are only words if you can treat them as words in a title. For instance, "Ed" as in "Driver's Ed." Or if someone is majoring in "Ag" (Agriculture) studies. Even so, those seem suspiciously like abbreviations to me.

Another word game I play online, Panda Poet, at first seemed to be guilty of a proper noun violation, although I'm willing to concede this one. I was suprised during a game of Pand Poet when I found myself able to play the word "Hobbit."  At first, I thought of it as a name particular to J.R.R. Tolkien's mythology. However, noun status isn't concerend with the fiction/non-fiction distinction. So, I suppose, that "hobbit" as the name of a species, is just as valid a common noun as the word "dwarf."

--A friend on Twitter made me aware of another webspeak acronym: GPOY. It stands for "Gratuitious Picture of Yourself." We all know what it refers to- online people sharing stupid, often drunken, pictures of themselves that no one has the slightest interest in seeing.

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Supposably Intelligent

Imagine you're having a very interesting conversation with "Hank the Carpenter" at a local dive.
The beer is cold, and the mood is relaxed, but not drunken, and the talk is good. "Hank The Carpenter" has made several interesting comments to you as you sit on your bar stool, listening intently. Then "Hank The Carpenter" says it, "Supposably," as in "Supposably" the universe is 6000 years old or something." It seems that anything "Hank The Damn Carpenter" would say after this point will deserve significantly less consideration. Hearing someone mangle a word into "supposably" is like hearing screeching on a chalkboard, glass shattering, or a scratched record.  I've already blogged about "irregardless," so don't get me started.

A friend of mine mentioned that she and her cousin discussed those very offenders. Those words that "literary gods" deem unworthy of the universal lexicon are not only noticed and castigated by myself. They also correctly noted the internet and instant messaging continues to shit on the written world in general and English in particular. Teachers should immediately fail formal papers containing the webspeak of "lol" or "u" where "you" should be. "K" instead of "okay," and "4" instead of four... Well, I can't pretend I care about the last two examples too much. I guess I'm beating a dead horse here: It's no secret that Facebook wreaks havoc on the English language. In the meantime,  I'll be on the lookout for particularly wonderful misspellings to get angry at. Clearly,I'm like your side show, and you can enjoy my anger.

               stimulating myself with private humor,