Follow by Email

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Fracking The Ladyparts

              As you know by now, I slum it many ways: I ride the bus, I sleep in opium dens and brothels, and I even drink American beer. However, even after living in any number of bachelor pads with ex-con roommates and associating with cheapskates, predators, and other lowlifes, my least dignified hobby has to be my regular viewing of WWE (professional wrestling) on cable television and pay per views. I, along with millions of others, rarely miss my weekly 4 hours of choreographed and preposterous brawls interspersed with dialog and plotting that shouldn't even hold the interest of an intelligent 5th grader. You're probably correctly thinking that, like my blog, mind, and life in general,  none of this should merit a second thought or mention. You're right, but I use any strange use of language or new word as an excuse to write, so here we go. Twice in the last week,  The Rock, who is probably the biggest celebrity to ever come out of the WWE, has threatened to kick Wrestlemania opponent, John Cena in HIS "ladyparts." At first, it seemed like the typical thoughtless bluster that wrestlers go through in order to hype up their upcoming matches, but then, The Rock, just to make clear that he wasn't merely implying that Cena wasn't very strong , reiterated his threat with a little more detail, "The Rock is going to kick John Cena is his ovulating ladyparts."  Cowardice and weakness, thy names are feminine anatomy, or "ladyparts." Cena and The Rock are both musclebound behemoths, so it's absurd to imply that either one of them aren't physically strong, longsuffering, or masculine. No, The Rock's insulting of John Cena stems from the fact that he's a woman, and women are bad. I don't entirely agree with aforementioned analysis, but either way, great messages being given to the young boys watching the program. Good stuff.

   Let's pick the subject matter's up I.Q. by 20 or 30 points and discuss the word "Fracking." The first time I heard the word "fracking" was when I was watching Battle Star Galactica. The humans of Battle Star Galatica come from worlds like our own, but different. They don't blay basketball; they play "pyramid" ; they don't pray to God; they pray to the gods; their paper is roundish and seems to have wifi, and when they want to talk about crude sexual activity or swear, they say...."frack" or "fracking." Unfortunately, environmentalists and fossil fuel extractors had to ruin the fun by using the word in a more serious and realistic way.  According to Wikipeda, source of all knowledge, fracking also refers to making pressurized cracks deep beneath the surface of the earth in order to extract petroleum and natural gas. I am politically on the left side of the spectrum, so while I don't quite understand the problems with fracking, (nor do I care to) I know that I'm supposed to be angry about it. As with creationism and global warming,  I have only a superficial understanding of the debate, so I'll just watch for familiar faces and pick my side in those fights based on who I do and do not like.

                                                   Ray Ray Montoya


  1. Luckily, environmentalists and fossil fuel extractors did choose a different spelling! Fracking is the oil spelling. Frak or frakking is the BSG spelling :)

  2. Next time I'm transcribing the subtitles to Battlestar Galactica, I'll keep that in mind.