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Monday, May 14, 2012

More Malapropism from the Malcontent

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away while sitting on the porcelain throne in the Northern Michigan University Academic Library (Jacobetti?) I observed the rare bit of witty stall graffiti. No, it wasn't a random phone number, crude depiction of a bodily process, or anonymous racism. It was, instead, the question "If you your life was a novel, would you read it?" In it of itself, this question isn't a bad way for a mortal to remind himself that these average 72.5  years, maybe, aren't a dress rehearsal. Do you want to be on your deathbed full of regrets? Even so, this good question was not left alone. Another shitter wrote "Nah, I'd just wait for the movie to come out." Say what you want, that response was brilliant and telling. 
Generation X,Y, Z,  the Millennials, are consumers of visual media (because I guess reading isn't visual) and maybe not the most verbally nuanced or precise of generations. Just today, The Princess got a text that read "I need you to send me money know!" As someone who helps students improve their writing, I get to see some rough sentences as well. A student let his vicious antisemitism come to the surface when he read in a speech that he wanted to go on a family vacation in Spain and "fly some kikes." Or was that just an innocent slip of the tongue? What would that old Jew Freud say? Another young man confessed to me that his high school attendance habits had been less than stellar, "My break would be a week or just some days off the mouth." Funny, he never struck me as particularly loquacious. 

Nonetheless, the kids still have active, healthy imaginations and appetites. One student who had earlier lied to me that at the age of 18 she no longer drank or partied was writing of her dream resort. She detailed her ideal bungalow as being furnished with "free booze, room service, and body massages from ripped young men in bathing suits." 

        I can't top that.

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