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Thursday, September 8, 2011

Sausage and Schite

   I am not all that familiar with how sausage gets made, and it's certainly not a regular part of my diet, but I'm lead to believe that the sausage making proccess is a particularly grotesque one. Using the elasctic skin of intestines or other similarly textured meat, the butchers then use the stretched out rinds as casing for other meats-lips, headcheese, ligament flesh, and all sorts of other savory delights stripped away from the cows, pigs, chickens, ostriches, gorillas, stray dogs and other victims that make up America's disgusting meat industry. For good measure, rat feces and sawdust probably gets included into the stuffing.

  This blog is the casing or container of my week's worth of mental shit. I love odd word combinations, and I stumbled into one earlier this week. I went back to school at the age of 25, and I finished grad school at the relatively geriatric age of 30. These damn kids, like me, were required to get a university issued laptop. Unlike me, these kids learned how to deftly exploit the computer; think Napster, Ipods, burning CD's and software, webcams, sending images and info back and forth. I remember hearing the younger, thinner little ones get excited some 6 years or so ago about Facebook and Myspace. My improv troupe participated in an icebreaker that  involved pairing off according to wether or not you had one of those "books" or online "photoalbums"-at least that's what I thought they were until I found out about social networks. Knowing that this is the level I operate on, then you shouldn't be surprised that I was delighted and intrigued to discover the word combination "otterbox." I laughed outloud hearing people casually discussing their "otterboxes." Otters are funny animals, and to the best of my knowledge they don't store possesions in boxes. Box has a few connotations, but I didn't think people were referring to rodent vaginas or especially hairy bushes. Someone had to burst my bubble and tell me just what they are. It wasn't the only amusing word combination I heard.
"Python Tutorials." I still don't know exactly what a "Python Tutorial" is. but I know what I want it to mean. I'd prefer to think it had nothing to do with heavy machinery, but instead was the male equivalent for kagel woman tightening, or something similar to Pilates or "the rack." The poet Sir Mix A Lot said something on his album having "the long black snake; just gotta make it move. Know what I mean?" I think if you have python tutorials, you do.
   Lastly, a term I know and understand, but love to say, "Raw foodist." I love the sounds of the words "Raw Foodist." Try saying it with a growl in your voice or with true invective, almost angrily.  I don't care  much about every new diet and trend that I can't afford to partake in, but I still love reading about raw foodists, because Raw is War, and, for me, saying "raw foodist"  is as satisfying as as growling.

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