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Thursday, October 20, 2011

Pithy Observations, free and worth every penny.

                Hey folks,
It's Montoya, and when I'm not ogling the former Secretary of Defense (Hubba Hubba, Donald Rumsfeld) I'm making pithy observations about words:
 1 Eating at a Chinese restaurant the other day, I noticed a feline icon dubbed the  "Business Cat." Yes, because when you think of good successful businesses, you think of cats. Asians are, of course, a feline and inscrutable race, and this icon was obviously a graven image of one one of their  Asian gods. In the not too distant future, when your children are speaking Chinese, any businessman with ambition will have to join the Cult of The Business Cat and pay monetary and verbal tribute, "All hail the business cat!"

2 Ivoronics: What Ebonics is to blacks, Ivoronics is to whites. I guess we should think of the accents of Michigan's Upper Peninsula, Minnesota, Wisconsin, surfers, skateboarders, and gamers.While I have trouble coming up with too many specific examples of Ivoronics, I'm pretty sure it involves saying the word "dude" a lot and occasionally telling others to "die in a fire... man."

3 Food Insecurity: Orwell, eat your heart out. This term is the U.S. governments way of  saying "you, just like a lot more of your fellow citizens than we're willing to admit, can't afford to feed yo'self. Guess, who's headed to the food pantry/ soup kitchen/ social services office?" This blog ain't much? Fuck you, man; it's all I got! Please imagine that last line said with the voice of "Cheech Marin."

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