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Saturday, October 8, 2011

A Fun Sized Blog

                       Keep'em shakin, ladies!
  Very quickly,

            Have you ever noticed that when candy is sold in the smallest portions or units, it gets referred to as "fun-sized"? I guess that has more of a ring to it than "very cheap product." Truly fun sized candy bars, sodas, pretzels, whatever, would be about the size of a small child or family pet (other things which make for great eating).

   Jimmy boy, little Jimmy, whoever the hell  you are.... You're too old to refer to the long standing science fiction institution known as "Star Trek" as "Star Track." If "Star Track" had been a show, it would have been about inter-stellar shuttle races around the galaxy:

       Announcers: In the 20th century, competitive racing occurred on the track. In the 23rd century, space jocks race around the GALAXYYYYYYYY (fade out and cheesy disco drum beat picks up). The show might have all the actors, but just a new focus on "space-jocks" racing their speed shuttles throughout the galaxy in pitched inter-stellar competition. Kirk would be the racing boy-wonder, Mccoy a surly bartender who shared folk wisdom with the young racers, Spock would be the high-school kid at the library who shared theories on how to improve the aerodynamics space shuttle("Thanks Spock, my racer wouldn't fly half so fast without you, kid") and Mr Scott.... would still be the mechanic, essentially.... enough of this.

    Another thing, ignorami, please don't use the non-existent term "expresso." I have already ground away 7 teeth this year as a result of hearing this word and my dentist says at this rate I'll be infantile and smooth mouthed by the year's end. The word is "espresso." If "expresso" was a word, then according to my very precise and scientific calculations, it would either refer to: 1 An Italian Sports Car meant specifically for highway driving or 2 A low cost, unreliable package mailing service meant to compete with UPS, RHL, Fedex or the like.

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